What if Dani Beck met Alex Cabot
by Starlight63
Summary: a friend & I were talking about what would happen if this occurred & this is the result. set shortly after Alex comes out of WPP & while Elliot is working with Dani. please R/R! rated T for some fowl language.
1. Chapter 1

Do not own any of these characters. Just the idea behind the story!

**What if Dani Beck met Alex Cabot?**

We were on our lunch break, grabbing something at a sandwich shop near the courthouse, when I saw her for the first time in three years.

'Livvy why'd you have to go undercover for the feds now of all times?' I couldn't help thinking as I headed towards the table the blonde beauty, who used to be our ADA, was sitting at, Dani following me a puzzled look on her face.

"Alex? Alex Cabot?" I say and I don't even attempt to keep the surprise out of my voice.

As soon as she hears my voice, the blonde's head snapped up and a panicked look appeared on her face.

"Easy Alex! I thought I recognized you when we walked inside and had to come and make sure it was you." I start to say something else when she finally noticed it wasn't Olivia I was with.

"Are they pairing you with rookies now Detective Stabler? Where's Detective Benson?" I detect a slight catch in her voice as she says Liv's name. I sigh and say,

"I'll explain in just a second," turning to Dani, I tell her to go order lunch and after telling her what to order for me I can't help thinking 'Livvy would've already known what I wanted.'

Turning back to Alex, I quickly explain to her about the Gitano case, our temporary separation, then the case leading to Liv going undercover and my getting paired with Dani Beck. Then I ask her what she's been doing since she came out of witness protection.

"I'm doing appeals at the moment. And before you ask, I have thought about contacting everyone at SVU, but at the moment I can't handle being around y'all. It just reminds me too much of what I lost for three years and the terror I had to live with." We both knew that she hated showing any sign of weakness, so this reminder had to be doubly hard on her. Giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze to show her I understood I let her continue, "Give me a bit of time and I will contact y'all again and try and get my job as SVU ADA back."

I nod my head in understanding and am about to tell her what's been going on with everyone when Dani walks up and says,

"Hi, I'm Dani Beck. How are you Miss….?" Dani was clearly trying to find out who Alex was and how I knew her.

Before answering her, Alex gave her a look all of us at SVU were well familiar with, the "you have got to be kidding me" look that only Alexandra Cabot can pull off so effectively, and answers,

"I am Assistant District Attorney Alexandra Cabot, former ADA of the Special Victims Squad. So what case are you two working on? How are Kathy and the kids, El? Isn't Mo getting ready to enter college? How are Munch, Fin, Huang, Melinda, Cragen, and O'Hallaran?" Alex asks, turning to me, feeling she has put Dani in her place, and letting her know that she is of no importance to her.

I chuckle inwardly at the shocked and somewhat insulted look on Dani's face and can't help thinking Livvy and the guys would have loved seeing Dani be put in her place by Alex, something not even Casey had been able to do. 'I guess the Ice Queen still exists in there even after what she went through.' I think to myself.

"As far as I know Kathy is good, she and I are going through a divorce at the moment. The kids are great, Mo just went off to college, Kathleen is a junior in high school at the moment and as much of a handful as ever, Dickie and Lizzie are about to enter their last year in middle school. Munch is still the same, spouting off conspiracy theories faster than I can believe sometimes, to anyone who will listen. Fin, Cragen, Huang, Melinda, and O'Hallaran are all doing well. Casey is doing ok, she's created a spot for herself but she knows there's still a spot she won't ever fill." As I say this last bit, I see Alex's face relax and realization set in as realization hits me.

'She's been afraid that Casey had taken her place in SVU and in our family.' I quickly reassured her, "Casey's good, but she's not you. She didn't put her job and life on the line in order to get justice for rape victims. She came in thinking that she could replace you, but very quickly learned that she couldn't. She has learned a lot since you came back to help prosecute Liam Connors but there are some things she will probably never know, simply because she never experienced those cases, and everything that was involved in them."

"That's good to know El. I'm sorry about your divorce, but I am relieved to know there's still a spot waiting for me when I'm ready to come back. Please don't tell anyone you saw me. Especially not Liv. Right now I'm sticking with appeals, and trying to get used to being Alex Cabot again. I'm also not ready to face the squad and all the memories that surround them. The memories are still to fresh and painful." She said, smiling sadly at me, as she finished her lunch.

"I understand Alex, but please look after yourself and know that there will always be a place for you and people who'd welcome you back with open arms to SVU." I said giving her a tight hug as she got up to leave.

"Thank you Elliot, I will." She replied returning the hug, then Alex turned to look at Dani and gave a minute shudder that only those who really knew her would have detected. As she spoke to Dani her voice took on an icy quality I recognized all to well from when she first started working with SVU, "It was nice meeting you. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got court to get to." She then proceeded back to the courthouse.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: I make no profit off of this. All characters, except I think Tagamaura, belong to Mr. Wolf._

As I watched one of my best friends make her way past the other customers at the sandwich shop and exit, I couldn't help chuckling quietly to myself.

'Ah Alex. You never change!' I thought fondly to myself. 'How many times have my colleagues or myself been on the receiving end of that tone? Too often to count, especially Liv and myself. I thought, chuckling silently to myself.

"So she used to be your ADA over at SVU? What caused her to leave, so that the pain is still too unbearable to return?" Dani asked, breaking into my trip down memory lane. I could tell she hated Alex right off the bat, especially after how surprised Alex looked to see me partnered with someone outside of SVU. Motioning for her to join me in one of the booths, I told her

"Dani, there's still quite a bit about SVU that you know nothing about. Yes Alex Cabot was our ADA before Casey joined us, but she was also my best friend, next to Detective Benson." I couldn't say Olivia's name around Dani, it just felt like I was stabbing her in the back every time I did that, so I'd started referring to her as either Benson or Detective Benson when I was around Dani. "She not only put her job on the line for us constantly, she was suspended for her actions in one case, and had to go into Witness Protection for her work on another." I said thinking back to the Cavanaugh and Velez cases that made us realize how integral Alex had become to the Unit.

"She and Benson were, and are, the heart of the Unit. Alex and Benson are the caring sisters that every family has and can't really survive without. Unlike other squads, the SVU truly is a family and when that family loses such a crucial member, it affects each and every one of us." I say pausing to let Dani process what I'd just told her.

"So what you're saying is that once again I'm getting the cold shoulder because I'm not everyone's precious _Olivia_?" The way she said Liv's name made it sound like a curse, which, I guess to her it was since she had to fill in for her.

Sighing I continued,

"In Alex's eyes, yes. Another thing about the two of them was that they were closer than sisters. They were like two halves of the same coin. When Alex went into Witsec, it all but destroyed both of them. You may have heard rumors that Olivia was the guardian angel of the SVU, but Alex was the avenging angel. Both she and Benson were the ones victims would talk to, when neither Fin nor Munch nor I could get them to talk. Even now, Casey doesn't have that kind of relationship with squad and the victims. But that's due mainly to the fact that, thankfully we haven't had a case where she's had to do that. And I hope for Novak's sake that we don't."

"Are you saying that you don't think she could handle that kind of case?" Dani said incredulously.

"I think she would have a very difficult time. Also she is an outsider who never wanted to do Special Victims in the first place and while yes she has grown to be accepted at SVU, there still exists the knowledge that she never wanted the job in the first place. So there's always going to be resentment on our part for that, and she has come to understand that and to work with it, but not let it interfere with her work relationship with us."

"But Elliot that isn't fair! Not to either of us! Novak's hard work has paid off! Conviction rates are up among rape cases! You can't tell me that they were higher before Miss Cabot left! And as for Benson, she gets too emotionally involved in cases."

Noticing several of the occupants of neighboring tables staring at us, I lowered my voice, and said

"For the victims, it helps to know that each case will be treated as though it is the most important thing. Olivia and Alex knew that first hand! That's why they put the extra effort into these cases. We all have one case that keeps us here. It's what separates us from the people who come even temporarily, to fill in for one of us and is why so few can stay longer than two years, if that." I finish much quieter than I started. "C'mon, we need to get back to the courthouse." I said, standing and gathering my sandwich wrapper.

Dani sighed and gathered her wrapper, following me.

Upon entering the courthouse I was surprised to learn I needed to testify at the appeal Alex was handling while my temporary partner testified on our latest case.

The appeals case I was testifying in was one Liv and I had worked on several years ago involving a young man who had been molested by one of his teachers. It had also been one of the first ones Alex tried for the squad. Now it was to be one of Alex's first appeals cases.

"History has a funny way of repeating itself doesn't it detective?" Alex said by way of greeting.

"Yes it does counselor. Almost like old times isn't it?" I said with a sad smile, knowing she would immediately understand what I was referring to.

"If only Liv were here and I was trying the case Detective Beck is testifying in." she said sadly but with a hint of animosity regarding Dani and the case. "How do you deal with her, El? It took all I had to not smack her after she'd introduced herself. Things really have changed while I was gone haven't they?" Alex said, sounding weak and tired, almost on the verge of tears.

This was only something I'd seen in Alex three times before: when she'd gone into WPP, in the hospital during the Cavanaugh case, and in the hotel room when she came back to testify against Liam Connors.

"I mean you and Liv not partners anymore, and separated by who knows how much physical distance!"

"ALEX! Alex, look at me. Yes things have changed since you entered WPP, but some things have not, nor will they ever. This victim needs the Alex Cabot who gave everything she had to get justice for the victims and prevent it from happening to someone else. And even though it seems like "even when we win, we don't" we get to make it so that the victims don't' have to fear going to sleep at night or "hearing a door bang shut and wondering if it's him, if he's finally found them"' I said, turning her words spoken three years prior back around on her, and seeing her turning back into the Avenging Angel the victims sought out and wanted prosecuting their cases. Because they _knew_ she would get justice for them, no matter what.

Pulling me to her in a quick, tight hug, she whispered,

"Thanks, El. You ready to put this asshole back where he belongs?"

"There's the prosecutor I remember from SVU! More than ready, Lex." I said quickly returning her hug, then following Alex into the courtroom.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: I make no profit off of this. All characters, except I think Tagamaura, belong to Mr. Wolf._

Chapter 3

"All rise for the Honorable Judge Liz Donnelly. Court is now in session."

'Oh this should be good! This should go quickly and this douche bag will be back where he belongs, especially with Liz trying this case!' I can't help thinking.

Back when she was trying cases for the SVU, Liz was one of the best prosecutors. She won 99% of the time. I was the first person called to the stand and quickly retold how the investigation had gone, how we had come to suspect Mr. Shale, and what occurred during our interrogation.

"The defendant, Mr. Shale, was brought in to answer some questions about his whereabouts on the day in question. At first he completely ignored my partner at the time and myself, then when we told him he wasn't under arrest but might possess some knowledge pertinent to the case was when he started throwing all types of derogatory names and words at my partner. When we tried to calm him down, he attempted to punch both Detective Benson and myself. After subduing him, we placed him under arrest for attempted assault of a police officer. We later learned that he was indeed withholding knowledge surrounding his whereabouts when the crime occurred, and that he had in fact been the person committing the crime."

Mr. Shale ended up not getting his appeal and Alex won yet another appeals case. As we were leaving the courthouse we met back up with Dani who had just finished testifying in her own case.

"How'd it go in the Tagamaura Case?"

"Not well. With the evidence we have, he may walk."

"Elliot don't tell me she's working the Richard Tagamaura case! There's no way she can win." Alex said before quickly adding,

"He gets the best lawyers and finds a way to get the best evidence you have for convicting him thrown out due to technicalities."

"Just because you couldn't put him behind bars with the evidence you and Detective Benson had, doesn't mean that ADA Novak and won't either. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go reinvestigate a crime scene." Dani said harshly.

"I wasn't trying to insult her work, I was just warning. Trying to make sure she was careful." The reminder of this case was hitting her hard.

Tagamaura, an Asian American businessman from an exceptionally wealthy family, had murdered and raped his stepdaughter's nanny. Liv and Alex had had what we all thought was rock solid evidence to convict the bastard. But as one piece of evidence after another was thrown out we learned that it was not as solid, nor was it going to be easy to convict as we thought. The case hit both women hard. But Alex, it seemed, really wanted this guy. Perhaps because they traveled the same circles, and he thought he could get buy his way out of the atrocity he'd created, which made everyone who traveled in that circle look like crooks, including Alex and her family. And there is nothing Alex hates more than seeing her family's name and reputation dragged through the mud.

"How dare that SOB think he can get out of this if he shells out enough money! Just because you have wealth and privilege does NOT MEAN YOU CAN BUY YOUR WAY OUT OF JAIL! It means you are held to a higher standard and have that much more to lose!" I remember hearing Alex exclaim after finding out that some of their evidence had been thrown out.

When we finally were able to convict him, Tagamaura told Alex that he would find a way out and make her look like a total fool, so to me it was little wonder she took the case so personally and was trying to help Dani out.

"I don't care who manages to finally get that monster behind bars, just so long as they make it stick! She should understand that! Liv would have. I hope they keep her safe wherever she is. It just isn't the same…..it feels like something's missing. In here." Alex said pointing to her heart. "That lightness that I always felt knowing she was helping to keep me safe, even unknowingly, when I just came out of WPP, made it easier every day. But now, I'm back under that cloud of doubt, thinking 'Is it still safe? Will I have survived everything only to have something happen now?'" It was as she said this that I truly began to understand what kind of relationship they'd had and just how well they knew and relied on one another, causing me to wonder just how well I did know my partner.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: I make no profit off of this. All characters, except I think Tagamaura, belong to Mr. Wolf. I also do not own the music of Celtic Woman. This also marks the chapter where the story shifts from Elliot's POV to Alex's._

Chapter 4

After exiting the courthouse I parted ways with Elliot. It was good to see him even after all these years. But Livy working with the Feds? Never, not even in my wildest nightmares, did I ever think I'd see that happen. And the fact that he was temporarily partnered with someone who couldn't be more different from Liv, just struck me as a gross injustice to both partners.

The more I thought about this Dani Beck them ore annoyed I became. Letting out a very undignified snort, I couldn't help the resentment I felt towards her and her place, however temporary, in my squad.

'Sure Casey may have taken my place, but she doesn't know what makes them tick. She doesn't understand Liv's determination is fueled by her need to prevent the events surrounding her conception from happening to another, or her lingering anger over how her mother died and they never really worked all of their issues out. Or why she and EL were so exceptionally good as partners! Nor does Dani understand why the cases with kids affect him so much! Or how he blames himself for Lizzie and Dickie's younger brother's death from SIDS. Only Liv and I know just how much he beat himself up over it and probably still does.' I can't help thinking to myself bitterly.

"I thought things would be easier coming home. I didn't think it would be this different! How could I have been so wrong??"

"Do you always talk to yourself counselor? What are you doing here anyway? Isn't this a little out of your jurisdiction? Or were you feeling a little homesick, and thought you would see how much this too had changed during your absence." Said an annoyingly sweet voice.

I turned around and saw Dani making her way towards me.

"No detective. I only do that to worry those around me. Or when I have a very difficult case to prosecute. Shouldn't you be heading back to the precinct? I'm sure you have cases that need to be worked on and DD5's to fill out." I say, slightly surprised at my harsh tone of voice.

'Is this really who I've become? This is not the well-bred Alex Cabot I was brought up as!' _"That Alex Cabot died the night Liam Connors shot you and you went into WPP. Remember what the marshals told you when you left WPP? 'You have to reinvent yourself. You're not the same person everyone remembers. __**You**__ have to figure out who Alex Cabot is now."_

"Captain Cragen told me I was on call, but to go on home. So, no I don't have to go back to the precinct. What is your deal anyway? So you were shot and had to go into Witsec? At least you were lucky enough to be able to leave! From what I've seen you're nothing special and easily replaced, just like everyone's precious Olivia Benson! I'm twice the detective she'll ever be!" Before either of us knew what happened, there's a bright red handprint on Dani's cheek.

"You are_ nothing_ like Detective Benson!" I snarled "How many victims of the crimes you've worked have you seen since you closed their cases? Hmm? How many have you followed up on to see how they're doing?" Dani was silent long enough for me to know her answer. "That's what I thought. Detective Benson went out of her way to check on the victims after the cases closed! That's why everyone loved Livy! Perhaps you should go to homicide where you don't have to deal with live victims." I couldn't help the bit in my tone; this woman really had no right to work at SVU! It's little wonder she's so disliked by the squad.

"Now as enjoyable as this conversation is, I have more important places that I need to be. So farewell Detective Beck. Enjoy the rest of your evening." I turned on my heal and walked towards my car.

"Urgh!!! Why do I let her goad me like that?! What was Cragen thinking allowing her to work with Elliot?" I banged my fist against the steering wheel in frustration before starting my car and running the few errands I had.

When I reached my third floor apartment I quickly put my groceries away and put on the latest Celtic Woman CD and skipped to my favorite song, _Annie Watches_. I discovered them shortly after going into Witsec, and discovered that I really enjoyed the hauntingly soothing music, especially after a difficult day.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: I make no profit off of this. All characters, except I think Tagamaura, belong to Mr. Wolf._

Chapter 5

As the lyrics floated around me, I felt all the tension that had flooded my body as soon as I heard El's voice begin to drain away. As I set about making dinner, I couldn't help thinking about how different I had become from the over-eager ADA I had once been.

"Who _is_ this new Alex Cabot, hmm? She's not the overzealous prosecutor everyone at the 1-6 met six years ago, although she does possess some of that dedication still. She's not the scared little woman known as Emily that she became in Wisconsin. She has some timidity in her, but that's to be expected considering everything she's been through. But she also has more strength and audacity in her than the woman who died that night six years ago." I mused aloud before looking at my favorite photo of Liv and myself.

Ironically it had been taken at a party right before the Zapata/Velez case started. Liv had just told this off color joke about two blonde ADAs that had everyone cracking up, especially myself, since it reminded me of Serena and myself when we were first starting out as lawyers. In the photo, we're sitting next to one another and you can see the laughter sparkling in our eyes. Looking at the photo I quietly say,

"I guess we'll have to see who she is and hope that she is just as worthy of being your best friend and fellow angel of SVU, won't we?"

After finishing dinner, I set about making sure I had everything I needed for my cases tomorrow. Once I was certain I had all my arguments ready, I got into bed and picked up the latest novel I was reading.

Falling asleep halfway through the third chapter, I woke up three hours later from my usual night terror of the night I was shot. Only this time instead of it being Connors pulling the trigger and me actually dying, this time it was Dani in Connors' place and Liv and my rolls were reversed. I wasn't the one being shot, instead I was the one trying to staunch the blood flow fro the wound.

"Nooooo! Don't leave me Livy! It's ok Liv it's ok! Noooo!" The screams died on my lips as I bolted awake, tears streaming down my face. 'This was why I wanted to hold off on seeing them!'

Taking a deep breath, I tried to relax. Quickly realizing it wasn't working, I took out the journal I had started while in Witsec and started writing.

_Brand new morning, start of a whole new day._

_Filled with new trials, new triumphs, new promises._

_Reminders of yesterday's problems, still seem so big, so grand_

_Makes me wonder what's the plan?_

_Always moving, all new stories…which one's me, who'm I to be this time?_

_A timid secretary, or a hotshot lawyer?_

_Do I have lots of friends or am I a loner?_

_Still running from the past, not yet accepting who I've become_

_No resemblance to who or where I've been!_

_Just once I want to be someone I'm proud to say that's me!_

_Thought I had it once, but realized too quickly 'twas yet another lie!_

_Can't help wondering, now that I'm back, am I me, _

_Or is this just another part I play? I just want to be me…_

_Not these shades of people, I just want to be me!_

While being shuttled from place to place, I'd renewed my love of writing. I'd discovered I had a knack for it during college, but never actively pursued it. It was just a way of dealing with everything, still was if I was completely honest with myself. Ant it was the one thing the marshals could never take away from me.

After I finished writing, I fell into a dreamless sleep for the rest of the night. When I awoke the next morning it was to the perfect fall day in New York, one of the many things I had missed while away.

"Shame I have to spend all of it indoors." I said to myself with a sigh.

"Screw that! I'm going to find some way to spend at least my lunch break outside!" I said remembering my promise of finally figuring out who this new me was. So why not start by doing something I knew, no matter _who_ I was, I always enjoyed. I always felt, and thought, better after spending time out doors.

"I'll just figure it out as I go along. The first thing I really need to do is do something I enjoy. And starting today that's what I'm doing!" 'And so what if I meet anyone else from my squad, it's bound to happen sooner or later.' I thought to myself as I left my apartment.


End file.
